


It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia|Random Episode Ideas Made by Yours Truly

by jay_1618



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 21:05:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9922094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jay_1618/pseuds/jay_1618
Summary: I do not own Always Sunny or its characters. This is just merely a work with ideas for episodes by me, Jay. Enjoy at your own risk. And again, I don't own Always Sunny.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is also on my wattpad, Jay-1618.

_10:51 am_  
_On a Wednesday_  
_Philadelphia, PA_

"What?! I really think we should sell oil again! Or even do that garbage man gig!"  
Mac, Charlie, Frank, and Dee are sitting at the bar.  
"Yeah, I don't think I agree with you on this one, Charlie." Frank said, eating a peanut.  
Dennis walks out of the office and Mac's face lights up.  
"Happy birthday to you!" He begins to sing.  
Dennis gives Mac a confused look as well as the rest of the gang.  
"Mac, what are you doing?" Dennis asks, looking a bit flustered.  
"Happy birthday to you!" Dee joined in on the singing.  
"Who's birthday is it?" Frank asks.  
"I didn't know it was someone's birthday." Charlie said.  
"Happy birthday to Dennis and Dee/me! Happy birthday to you!"  
"Ohhh!" Frank and Charlie exclaimed as Dennis stood in front of them, biting his nails out of nervous habit.  
"Woah, dude, it's your birthday?" Charlie asked.  
He shook his head in disappointment, "Yes! It's my birthday!" He confirmed.

_Dennis Has a Birthday_

"Okay, I knew it was Deandra's birthday, but I didn't know it was yours as well, Dennis!" Frank exclaimed.  
"How?! We're _twins_!!!"  
Frank shrugged, "I always thought you were the oldest one. One of them Irish twins."  
"What the hell is an Irish twin?" Charlie asked.  
"They're siblings born within the same year." Dennis answered, "And how could you think that? You _celebrated_ with us when we were kids!"  
"I never knew, I just played along thinking it was one of your guys' birthday."  
Dennis sighed, "Well, we're _twins_ , not _Irish twins_."  
"Well," Frank hopped off his bar stool, "now it looks like I gotta go get you two gifts, so I'll be right back." He left the bar.  
Dee laughed, "He remembered my birthday but not yours! That's just sad!"  
"Shut up, you bird!" Dennis snapped.  
Mac and Charlie laughed at the never ending joke.  
"He called you a bird!" Mac stated.  
Dee rolled her eyes, annoyed, "I don't need to spend my birthday with you assholes. Related or not." She muttered and left the bar as well.  
The laughter finally quieted down.  
"Alright, I'm gonna finish up some work and then we can go out to celebrate my birthday, how's that sound?" Dennis said.  
"Great! In the mean time, Mac and I can go get you a present." Charlie said.  
"Oh, I already got him a present though."  
"You guys will figure it out." Dennis said before disappearing in the back office.

Frank was at the mall looking at the boys section of the toy store. He already got Dee a nice charm bracelet from Pandora.  
"Awe, why can't I think of a thoughtful gift for Dennis?" He sighed and walked out of the toy store.  
"Wait! Mac got him that rocket launcher, why don't I go find a rocket?!" He talked to himself.  
He began to walk out of the mall but got distracted. A massage chair was calling to him.  
"Alright, one massage won't kill nobody..."

"What should we get Dennis?" Charlie asked.  
"What do you think we should get him?"  
"Maybe buy him a sexy hooker or something?"  
"Possibly... But I don't think that's the best choice we have, man..."  
"What do you mean?"  
"He wouldn't want to fuck a lousy hooker on his birthday! C'mon, Charlie!"  
"Who else would give Dennis his sexual tendencies then?"  
Mac rolled his eyes in irritation, "I mean... I would but..."  
Charlie stayed silent, for Mac caught him off guard.  
"Does he know that I want to bang him? Cause I think I make it _clear_ that I want to bang him." Mac asked, eyes wide as he stared at nothing, too focused on his own thought.  
"Wait... What?" Said Charlie for he was beginning to get lost in this conversation.  
"Never mind that. Alright, so we need to find something good for his birthday, you know?" Mac said with his usual energetic voice.  
"Uh... Yeah...."  
"Something that will wow him, something that he would use frequently."  
"Some new shoes?"  
"No, Charlie. He deserves better than shoes!" Mac said annoyed.  
"Oh... A... Pack of cigarettes! I have a pack right now!" Charlie began to pull out his pack.  
"No! God, Charlie! You know what? I'll just get the gift myself and only have it be from me. Okay? Okay. Now if you excuse me."  
"Mac, wait!" Charlie tried but Mac already left the bar. He sighed and turned back around to continue brainstorming. Cricket walked into the bar.  
"Hey there, Charlie! Have any money for me? Need to buy them drugs." He rubbed his hands together, desperate.  
"Cricket!" Charlie turned and got up from his seat to greet Cricket. "Sorry, man. I don't have enough money on me right now. I need to get Dennis a birthday present."  
Cricket looked interested, "How much?"  
Charlie shrugged, "I dunno, maybe a hundred... Maybe less..."  
"Buy him some crack! You can easily get some crack with that money! Give me some too though."  
"Why crack?"  
"Dee told me when we were dating that she and Dennis smoked crack before."  
Charlie took in the thought.  
"Alright, let's go get some crack."

Mac did in fact have a gift already, it was a rocket for the rocket launcher gun he got Dennis for Valentine's day. _But_ , it wouldn't hurt to find him some shades so he'd look badass as he shoots that baby, right?  
"Sir, may I help you with something?" A store associate asked, coming up to Mac.  
"Oh, yeah! I'm looking for some badass shades. They're for my partner in life." He smiled at the thought of Dennis, "It's his birthday."  
"Oh! I can help you with that." The employee lead Mac to the accessories section. "So we have Ray-Ban, Oakley, Maui Jim, and Prada."  
Mac looked at the selection in front of him and spotted some cool looking aviators from Prada, "Those are badass!"  
"The Prada aviators?"  
"Yeah! Can I look at them?"  
"Of course." The man got the sunglasses for him. They were a blue shade which made it cooler to Mac.  
"Oh, he'll love these. Especially when he goes to shoot his rocket launcher. Man, he'll look hot..." Mac got distracted, looking at the glasses.  
"Mhm... Those will be one hundred ninety-five dollars."  
Mac looked up at the man, "A hundred ninety-five?! For these?!"  
"Well they are an expensive brand, sir."  
He pressed his lips together, thinking. "Well, I guess our rent with Dee will have to wait. I'll take it."  
After the sunglasses were purchased, Mac went deeper into the mall. He soon ran into Frank.  
"Thank god you're here! I need your help."  
"With what?"  
"Where can I find a rocket, _fast_?"  
"Oh, I already got Dennis a rocket."  
Frank looked at the small bag Mac held, "Where is it?"  
"It's back at Dee's apartment."  
"Oh... God damn it... What else would Dennis want?"  
"What did you get Dee?"  
Frank lifted the bag up to show Mac, "This charm bracelet."  
"Get him a nice watch."  
"Now you're thinking! Thanks, Mac! Make sure everyone is in the bar in an hour!"  
"Alright." Mac turned to leave the mall to get to Dee's apartment.

"Okay. You said this is where the dealer is, man." Charlie told Cricket.  
"It is, be patient."  
Eventually a scrawny white man came up to them. "You guys cops?"  
"Nah, we're looking to buy. Come on, I'm a regular!" Cricket explained.  
"Right... What are ya looking for?"  
"Crack." Charlie said abruptly.  
"How much you have?"  
"A hundred."  
The dealer looked around, "That'll get you an eight ball which is three point five grams."  
"We'll take it." Cricket made the decision. "Can we get a small baggie as well? We're splitting a lil."  
"Alright, sure. Where's the money?"  
Charlie quickly pulled out the money and gave it to the man. They got the drugs.  
As the dealer walked away, Cricket began to open up the package, splitting up his share from Dennis's gift and put it in the baggie.  
"Why don't we smoke this bad boy?" Cricket said, looking at the rest of the eight ball.  
"But it's for Dennis!"  
"Shh, he won't miss a pinch." He gave a persuasive smile, "You bought it anyways."  
Charlie debated to himself, that crack did look good to him....  
"Fine, where's the lighter and the pipe?"

Mac was now in Dee's apartment and came upon a wasted Dee.  
"Damn, Dee! How much did you drink?"  
"Enough to not save any for you losers." She laughed an ugly laugh.  
Mac gave her a disgusted look before going on to grab the rocket that had a bow tied on it.  
"Let's get to Paddy's, Frank wants us there in an hour."  
"Wha?"  
He sighed, "Let's just go!"

Charlie and Cricket smoked a lot, only half of the eight ball remained. They came back to the bar with the drugs in a brown bag.  
"Hey, guys!" Charlie said loudly.  
Mac and Dee turned to face him and Cricket.  
"Are you high, Charlie?!" Mac questioned.  
"...No..."  
He sighed in irritation, "Charlie! Where's Dennis's gift?"  
"Right here." He put the bag on top of the counter. Mac looked inside.  
"You got him crack?!"  
"It was Cricket's idea since you wouldn't help me!"  
"Did I just hear something about crack?" Dee asked.  
"No! Nothing about crack!" Mac said.  
"Give me some." Dee reached for the bag.  
"Alright, here you go." Charlie handed it over. But Mac grabbed it before Dee could get it.  
"Cut it out, guys! Charlie, keep the crack and go get Dennis something else!"  
"I spent all my money on that! It was an eight ball!"  
"And you two didn't call me over to share?! You sons of bitches..." Dee growled. "Hey, it's my birthday too, that crack can be for me instead of that asshole."  
"Yeah! I got it for Dee!"  
"Enough about the crack!" Mac became frustrated.  
"I'm back guys! I know it's been thirty minutes. Where's Dennis?" Frank walked into the bar.  
"What is going on out here?!" Dennis asked, walking out.  
"We got gifts for you, man." Charlie said. "Mac has your gift from me and he was gonna throw it out."  
"Are you high?!" Dennis looked at Charlie.  
"Yes, but that doesn't matter! You'll like my present to you the most. Mac, give him his crack."  
"You got me crack?!"  
"It was Cricket's idea since Mac wouldn't help me." Charlie repeated.  
Mac sighed and handed Dennis the bag. Dennis looked inside.  
"Why is there only half of an eight ball? Where's the rest?"  
"We smoked it." Cricket confessed.  
"Look at what I got you, Dennis and Dee!" Frank handed them the bags.  
Dennis set aside the crack and opened Frank's gift. Dee did the same.  
"I love it!" Dee exclaimed, looking at her bracelet. "Put it on me!" She handed the bracelet to Charlie so he could help her get it on.  
"Oh wow, this isn't a Rolex this time... It's a Movado! This brand is very expensive, Frank!"  
"Yep, you deserved it, son."  
Dennis smiled and looked at Frank, "Thank you..."  
"Here, Dennis, I got you these and..." Mac handed Dennis his bag and went to the back to grab the rocket. "This."  
"You got me a rocket?!" Dennis was excited.  
"Yeah! And open up the bag, got you something to make your rocket launching badass."  
Dennis pulled out the aviators from Prada.  
"Woah, these are cool..." He looked at them.  
"What did you get me, Mac?" Dee asked.  
"Oh! You drank it all. I got you that bottle of wine."  
"You did?! I thought it was just yours and Dennis's so I drank it."  
"Yeah, you liked it right?"  
"Yeah! It was pretty good!"  
"Well, thank you guys for my gifts." Dennis said with a smile.  
"No problem, man." Mac said.  
"Yeah, you're welcome." Frank returned the thanks.  
"Yes, thank you." Dee thanked as well.  
"Are we all gonna smoke that crack now, Dennis?" Cricket asked.  
Dennis thought about it, "Why not? It's my birthday!" The gang gathered around.


End file.
